Confessions of a Self Choosen Anti-social Loner

There are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to anti-social people and loners. People generally believe that they don’t know how to make friends, that they don’t have social skills, or that they’re just plain old freaks.

I , on the other hand, have chosen to keep to myself.

Those that are closest to me tell me from time to time to go and try to make more friends. I always just shrug it off, I personally don’t want a super active social life, because I consider it draining.

I just want to make this clear, I do in fact have friends. I just prefer most of the time to keep to myself, it’s just less messy that way. I guess part of the reason I’m like this is from being a very timid child, and socially awkward teenager. Even today I tend to struggle in certain social situations, but it’s not such a big deal to me anymore.

Alone I can explore the depths of my mind without any external distractions.

I believe having a few great friends in your life is better than being a social butterfly with 10+ people blowing up your phone at all hours of the day.

My sister used to be super social but has since held back, and she says she’s attempting to keep to herself a lot more lately. Her friends would consistently hit her up, and she was practically never home. Some of them commonly and successfully begged her to come party in the early morning hours, although she had to work at 9 the next morning. Like I said, having a overly active social life can be draining. Besides, I never was any good at keeping up with people who were merely acquaintances,

I define it as something similar to the relationship term “friend-zoned”, I always end up getting acquaintance-zoned, but you know, oh well.

I always figured just like it should be in a the start of a good relationship, a friendship should also start out organically with no effort. There shouldn’t be any game playing involved in a starting-out friendship, I mean come on!

Everyone always treats my loner situation like it’s a problem, and it kind of sucks. Nobody really understands the need for being alone. I had an ex mock me for it before, calling me a “shut in”, the asshole! I frankly don’t see the big deal, I’m happy and comfortable by myself, and I also have awesome people in my life to be social with when I decide to retreat from my cave. It took me the longest time to realize that there was nothing wrong with self-choosing to be a loner, despite all the negative vibes people spread around regarding the subject.

People suck, and that’s the biggest reason I choose to keep to myself.

And I can tell you it’s super nice not having to deal with the drama of having a umpteenth million friends. I’ve seen the effects it has had on my sister, and it’s an unnecessary stress. I also often go through phases of shifting from an extrovert back to an introvert. Is there such thing as an introverted extrovert? Well that’d be me. The phases of being an extrovert are usually very short-lived. I think it confuses people when I am super social one day then introspective and quiet the next.

Please don’t take it personally, it’s just me being the weirdo that I am; a self-chosen anti-social loner.


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