After talking to one of my co-workers about dating horror stories I realized I should blog them because they make for a hysterical read! I hope that none of my dates ever stumble upon my site and realize it’s them! I will be as vague as I can and never use names outside of funny made up ones.
Dressed like Madonna for 80’s cover band
My first entry happened a few years back and is kind of sad on my end. Yes, I was stood up, and yes I was dressed like Madonna walking around downtown in public! It began as like a dream date of mine, I was so excited! I had met him a few weeks earlier and we were going to an 80’s cover band. We decided to dress up. I even went out and bought the perfect Madonna outfit! I looked great but it was over the top, but the fact he was dressing up too eased that public anxiety. I go with my family up there, they would be going too but I was going to split when my date got there. The band is about to start and he’s nowhere to be seen. I text him and he says he’s going to be a little late and his buddy was his ride. Time ticks on…
Where is he?!?
30 mins or so have gone by… Where is he? I leave the concert for a walk. A sad walk. text him again “Any news on arrival?”, and he says his buddy decided to go to the gym and they haven’t even left yet! I find a place under an overhang and cry. I had recently gotten out of a bad relationship where we’d make plans to hang out on a certain day and he’d completely ditch me if his friends were available. He’d be aware of his actions and how they had hurt me but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t even answer the phone. His friends were his life and I was just the sex supplier…I was devastated to be treated like a back burner bitch once again.
In hindsight: I should have dumped that dude’s ass the first time he ever disrespected me by ignoring my calls! You live and you learn.
He shows up… finally…
Back to the story-I miss the whole concert…
In hindsight: I should have went, had a blast! I should have channeled my inner Madonna!
I go over to talk to my friend that is bouncer at a bar. I tell him my situation and he is a laughing away, because even though it sucked it is pretty hilarious! My date ends up showing up….30 minutes after the show ends…And guess what!? He isn’t even dressed up! I went all out and spent money on this date for this? Well I’m a complete bitch to him, and he’s all like uhhh… I made him buy me beer all night while I snubbed him…Serves you right!
In hindsight: I should have told him “well that would have been fun, you’re loss. I deserve better, sorry but you blew it, and walked away.
And things got weird…Like is this for real? weird..
We go to his friends house, and shit got crazy...For one, when she answers the door, it’s dark and I can’t quite make out what in the world she is wearing. There is a reason. Girl is completely butt-ass naked! What the hell! She is upstairs having sex with some guy she picked up from a bar. I use her bathroom to escape the freak-show. She bargs in while I’m on the freakin’ toilet! Still butt-ass naked and bends over the sink about to vomit. It is a small bathroom and her ass is in my face! Get some class girl! I walk out and walk up to who I thought was “Mr Stand you up”, but it turned out to be the guy she was banging and was super awkward. We go down stairs but her upstairs was a loft so I still could hear their lame poser rap they were having sex to. What happened next is unbelievable, after standing me up this mother F’r actually tries to have sex with me! I was naive at the time to think he wasn’t going to try. I don’t care if it is “not his fault completely” since his ride was dragging his feet. I don’t care, and I’m not buying it; it’s BS! If he REALLY wanted to make the date on time he could have found a way. I never saw him again and ain’t complaining! Good riddance!
Lesson I learned:
- Never let some stupid guy ruin your night
- If he disrespects you or devalues you in any way don’t give him the privilege of your presence
- Don’t go anywhere with someone you don’t know well (dangerous!)
- Don’t set yourself up for a bad situation
- Cut your losses…Immediately
- Channel your inner Madonna! If they don’t give her proper credit, she just walks away!