The reason I even am asking this question is because I have a bet with my friend. We are challenging each other to see how many guys/girls we can approach and talk to, instead of just letting the other start the conversation. We realized neither of us have ever took action when we liked someone or thought someone was attractive, we had always let people approach us first.
So how do you talk to guys? I don’t really know. All I know is what all the sites tell you to do is wrong…Well, not everything but some things they tell you to do when flirting is complete BS. It’s like you’re trying to sell yourself off as some piece of meat for him to sink his teeth into. A friend I told about the bet sent me a “how to flirt with guys” link. Some was like okay, yes I need to use more eye contact, and yes I need to ease my nervousness, they are just human beings anyhow? A lot of the sites suggested some questionable things… Like you should flaunt your body in attention getting ways… Or tell him puke worthy flirty things… No way! I asked my friend if this was comedy. I did get some good laughs from it!
One site suggested you lift up your shirt and ask him if he thinks you should get your bellybutton pierced…For one, you don’t think you have to flash him your body to get him interested; and another, that is not the type of attention I would want from a guy! I don’t want a guy to think he can sleep with me on the first date by being overly suggestive… I’m not going to use sexual crap to get him interested. I want him to see me as a quality woman!
Another thing that was comedy “gold” was the texting him, “sorry I was in the shower” and let his mind wander! Like what? Again if I have to use sex to lure him I don’t want him! Cause then that’s all he will ever see of me. A big hunk of a piece of meat. I am WAYYYY more than just a sex machine! Why are they setting women up for being objectified? I agree that you should keep your appearance up, but my reason isn’t for the guy. It’s because I’m worth it and I’m going to look the way I feel dammit!
So this is how I learned to talk to guys… You just talk to them… Duh! It’s that simple. You’re awesome and that boy is the luckiest guy in the world because you’re speaking to him. Have that confidence, don’t overthink it, and just be yourself. Don’t channel that flirty, babydoll, Sexed out, Barbie bull-crap because that ain’t you.
- Just talk to them & don’t overthink it– This is nerve wracking, but whatever. Think of how many people are on the earth and how many other options you have if it doesn’t go well. How bad could it actually get? Stuttering actually isn’t that bad.
- Be yourself- I tend to blabber about arcades, bands, aliens, and my love of dancing in the middle of bars. Be yourself and don’t be afraid of being judged for what you like. You’d be surprised, he may like that same weirdness as you!
- Remember, he may be hot but he still is human- Don’t see him as some Zeus status god or something. He isn’t “too good for you” and he’s not out of your league. He is just a human male. He has skin, hair, and organs too. He ain’t that special.
- Don’t act too eager- A mistake I made when trying to win this bet haha. Think of the laws of attraction. You want what you think is out of reach. The guy texting you all the time that makes you uncomfortable because he’s too forward, you don’t want him. Don’t do that, cut it out!
- Body language is helpful- I suck at this so I don’t have much to say on it other than prolonged eye contact is so awkward! And with the touching him thing, how the hell am I supposed to touch him casually without it being weird?